Today is day 365 of 2014. It’s 4am CST and I’m taping the keys on my laptop like somebody cares to read my ramblings. Mornings like this make me realize I am crazy as a Bessie Bug. I have to write even though it’s not inspiring. You see I am tormented. I wrote something beautiful for someone. I put feeling into it and wanted to recipient to feel as I did when the words flowed from my mind. This was not the result. Silence speaks volumes and this time she is screaming LAME! There is nothing worse than silence from the object of your focus. The last time I wrote something from my heart as a tribute for someone they laughed at me. This person picked me apart and made fun of the entire piece of work. I was mortified.
I don’t know how to take these rejections other than my work blows and I’m not a talented writer. Here I am typing anyway. I started this blog to cleanse my mind and soul. You have no idea what lies beneath. Writing has helped level me out. I still get antsy from time to time and go off half cocked but it’s not as often. I wrote a piece for a friends blog in October. I was so very honored that she asked me. She told me she liked my work and told me I was gifted. She’s such a sweetheart. I think she may have exaggerated a bit. Truth is I don’t think I have what it takes. I’m not writing anything that speaks to anyone. It’s just crap basically to everyone but me. I wanted to be a talented writer. I wanted to captivate people and entice them with my words. I have failed. I am not a writer. I am a rambler. I prattle.
I’m back to my old ways. I stay home every weekend. I miss my friends. I don’t leave the house much. No more adventures. Truth is I want so desperately to make that story a reality. I need that to snap me out of this funk. Unfortunately the silence has spoken. I could go to the Stagger Moon Band Show and hang out with my favorite people. I could also stay home and watch the entire 1966 Batman series. I could watch it day and night and never get bored. I have the dogs and the comfy bed. It seems I have it all but in reality I am alone. It would have rocked to have day fourteen thousand thirty-nine go out with a bag and a road trip. 2014 may just creep on out with Catwoman. Stay tuned to the same bat channel to find out if I went big or stayed home.