Day Fourteen Thousand Thirty-Nine

Today is day 365 of 2014. It’s 4am CST and I’m taping the keys on my laptop like somebody cares to read my ramblings.  Mornings like this make me realize I am crazy as a Bessie Bug.  I have to write even though it’s not inspiring.  You see I am tormented.  I wrote something beautiful for someone. I put feeling into it and wanted to recipient to feel as I did when the words flowed from my mind. This was not the result. Silence speaks volumes and this time she is screaming LAME! There is nothing worse than silence from the object of your focus. The last time I wrote something from my heart as a tribute for someone they laughed at me. This person picked me apart and made fun of the entire piece of work. I was mortified.

images (4)

I don’t know how to take these rejections other than my work blows and I’m not a talented writer.  Here I am typing anyway.  I started this blog to cleanse my mind and soul. You have no idea what lies beneath.  Writing has helped level me out. I still get antsy from time to time and go off half cocked but it’s not as often.  I wrote a piece for a friends blog in October. I was so very honored that she asked me. She told me she liked my work and told me I was gifted.  She’s such a sweetheart. I think she may have exaggerated a bit.  Truth is I don’t think I have what it takes. I’m not writing anything that speaks to anyone. It’s just crap basically to everyone but me.  I wanted to be a talented writer. I wanted to captivate people and entice them with my words. I have failed. I am not a writer. I am a rambler. I prattle.

10858385_10152805229303819_1906557907689353004_n

I’m back to my old ways. I stay home every weekend. I miss my friends. I don’t leave the house much.  No more adventures.  Truth is I want so desperately to make that story a reality.  I need that to snap me out of this funk.  Unfortunately the silence has spoken.  I could go to the Stagger Moon Band Show and hang out with my favorite people.  I could also stay home and watch the entire 1966 Batman series. I could watch it day and night and never get bored. I have the dogs and the comfy bed.  It seems I have it all but in reality I am alone.  It would have rocked to have day fourteen thousand thirty-nine go out with a bag and a road trip. 2014 may just creep on out with Catwoman. Stay tuned to the same bat channel to find out if I went big or stayed home.

Advertisements

13 thoughts on “Day Fourteen Thousand Thirty-Nine

  1. Hey!!! Why are you so hard on yourself? I actually loved that piece even though it’s sad. But you made me wanna read more of your blog so I guess you do have *some* talent!! And like someone else has told me: start writing for yourself FIRST! ❤ Rebecca
    And I hope you will go OUT!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If I didn’t already have plans, we would definitely be going out and painting the town….probably literally. LOL I love reading what you write. Whether it speaks to anyone else or not is irrelevant. All great works mean more to the writer than the reader. As a writer myself, as well recently becoming a very avid reader, I can say that with confidence. But I also know how it feels to have people crap on your work. But it’s their opinion and you have to accept that in life, not everyone is going to like what you do. Take my recent situation….I’m not sure if you read about it on FB or not, but the idea about building pallet furniture. I got so much positive response from friends and family, but it was the negativity of my father who made me question myself. Well, I’m back on track and I do plan on making it a reality. Whether or not I succeed is irrelevant…..but trying. That will also be the case when I set out in late July or early August on my trip out west to hunt for treasure. I haven’t disclosed that information to too many people because many already think I’m crazy. But in the event that I find it, it will definitely be a great addition to my life story.
    Never let one person affect what you feel inside. Never let one person make you feel that you can’t accomplish anything. Never let a thousand people do those things. Though we haven’t really spent any time together, I know you pretty well. I know you don’t give up too easy unless it’s something you desperately want, then you let others talk you out of it. I’ve been there. Anyway, hope 2015 brings great things to you. WHEN I find my treasure, we’ll take a trip together to awaken us both.

    Like

  3. I love your truth!!! You’re a brilliant writer whether it’s your fiction, raw pain, or blissful emotion. Don’t give up on you, you’re a game changer and I’d love for you to guest blog for me! Let me get my ducks in a row here, and we can make it happen. 😃❤️

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s