Today I slept until 4pm. I didn’t go anywhere this weekend. I tapped the keys on my laptop. I started bringing a story to life. I’m feeling like that gum on the bottom of my Chuck Taylor’s again. It ain’t good y’all. I got so caught up in something impossible and now I’m at a loss. I should start selling tickets to my fantasy land. I think I could make a fortune. Reality blows and fantasy is where it’s at. When reality hits it can get you right in the gut. It was hopeless but it was beautiful.
My situation has gone from impossible to hopeless. I’m not really sure what I thought would happen. I got caught up in that fantasy as always. I care way too much. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I let people in when I should be building a fortress. Once in a while somebody comes along and you get distracted. Hell I ended up out in left field somewhere. It was bound to happen though. I was captivated and honestly stupid about it. It wasn’t practical and I knew better. I didn’t give a damn though. I wish things were different but they aren’t.
In a few hours the distance will become greater and I will be a memory. I have to believe there was a reason our paths crossed. There has to be a reason it felt right. How could I be so wrong? I won’t ever know the answers or the purpose for any of this. I will only know the sadness I feel right now. Sure, I will get over it. I will be fine. I know it was impossible and against all the odds. It was nice to imagine the possibility. Now it’s time to get back to the real world.
Letting go of the things we want is never easy. Dreams of a different life are normal. Wanting the impossible is natural. I shoot for the moon all the time. I end up getting lost in space most of the time. It’s better than regret. One day I will have the moon and all the stars in my sky. Even if it’s just in my dreams.