Social media has some good points. I love finding people I lost touch with. I’ve found new friends. I’ve learned so much. I’ve seen raw human emotion. I’ve also seen some of the cruelties of this world. The battered,bruised and broken unite all in one place, It’s kind of home for me. Then there are those that lead a charmed life. They have perfect hair and skin. They live in a beautiful two-story house on the hill with a white, picket fence. They have perfect smiles in every picture they take. Their family consists of a loving spouse and children they had together. Some people have it all. Then there are those of us that have dysfunction and chaos.
I don’t want to come off as bitter. Maybe I am a little bitter. Some of these things are my fault. I have been dealt a shit hand with some of it. I just wonder if I will ever get this right. I have my doubts. I bought into that American dream bs when I was a little girl. I honestly thought everyone got a happily ever after. I was foolish.All I ever wanted was to be happy. I wanted a home with children and a loving husband. I couldn’t get that right. I don’t think everyone is lucky enough to have this kind of life. I was foolish in my belief that this was some how a basic human right.
I often wonder how some of us end up being so unlucky. If it’s bizarre and unheard of then it will happen to me. Only crazy stuff happens to me. I could write a book on the random misfortunes I’ve been party to. I may never figure out why I am a have not. It drives me crazy to think about it. I hope the haves know how lucky they are. I have pretty much accepted being alone. It does suck at times. I spend most of my time alone. I sleep alone. I go most places alone. I should be used to it by now. Sometimes I think about it way too much. I’ve met people and tried to date. I’m a little hard to handle and I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. It usually doesn’t work out. They run. I don’t really blame them.