Dirty Little Secret

It’s 8am on a Sunday morning and my iPhone chirps like a cricket. I cringe. I ignore it for maybe 10 minutes before I mumble a few obscenities and pick it up. I know that this text isn’t something I want. I should just block the number already. I open the text and of course it’s my past texting. I know this isn’t a conversation I want to have. I try to be nice but it is hard. I know all the tricks and games people play. It’s early in the morning and I seldom hear from you. I know you want something from me. I want to punch him in the mouth. I’m not happy. I feel like garbage now.

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I read the texts and I know where this is headed. I see your pathetic plan. It ain’t happening. You treated me like I was second-rate. You lead me on and made me a pawn in your stupid game. You left me to walk home at 3am. I walked four miles in the dark with a dead phone. You didn’t care. The next day you appeared like it never happened. You used me up and left me feeling like nothing. You thought I was dumb enough to fall for your new games. The phone goes off and finally his intentions are revealed….”I want to come visit you.” My inner voice replies “I’d rather walk bare foot through barbed wire and kiss a rattle snake.”

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I guess he doesn’t get that I’m through. I will not be your good girl Friday. Frankly I could care less about you anymore. You ain’t my friend. I am not your dirty little secret anymore. I am an in your face kind of gal. I don’t hide. Honey if I were ashamed of what I do then I wouldn’t be doing it. I’m not hiding for anyone. If you are embarrassed by me then I hate it for you. Chances are you minor in the scheme of things. Maybe this time he got the message. Take your dirty little secret and shove it. Cancel my subscription, I’m over your issues. Now get lost.

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