Flowers in Winter

I’m very acquainted with the random things that life throws at us. Sometimes they hit you in the mouth and every once in a while you get hit in the feels. I admit, I can be sappy. I actually prefer it over acting like I don’t care. It makes my life easier. I’m a very conflicted person. I’m in constant turmoil. This is just the way I am. It’s not what I want but it’s just me. When I find a moment of stillness then it’s a blessing. Peace comes so little that I must hold on to it as long as I can. I went to sleep early and woke up at 3 am with a stillness and peace. Am I dead? Is this what it’s like to be happy?

turmoil-in-the-heavens

Here I am pondering the idea of happiness at 5am. I am tired but my mind is on fire. I’m comfortable with this moment of peace. I do not want it to leave me. I know that the time will come and I will be left to me own devices. I can’t worry about that now. Right now all is well. Life is full of trickery and surprises. people cross our paths and our lives intertwine. Sometimes they disappear then come back and leave you full of questions. I can’t begin to understand why some things happen. Whenever I am so lost I can’t find a way back someone takes my hand to lead me from the darkness. It’s usually shocking when you see their face. It’s always someone you least expect. It’s not often I am comfortable with someone. The connection and chemistry are on point.

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Sharpie Fun

I sit here and stare and the flower drawn on my hand. I can’t say I’ve ever had anyone draw for me. It makes me smile. I needed to smile. It’s healthy. Yesterday was a good day. I love good days. The world outside couldn’t compete with the good times that were had yesterday inside my home. The things some people take for granted are the things I long for. No matter what happens yesterday can’t be taken from me. I don’t know what today holds but I’m ready for it. I’m going to smile a little wider. My laugh lines won’t stop me. I wear them like a badge of honor. This week has been the coldest of the winter. The snow and ice have been pretty but I long for warmth. I want sunshine and grass between my toes. It will be a while before the weather turns and the season changes. Today I was blessed by flowers in Winter.This flower won’t ever die.

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10 thoughts on “Flowers in Winter

  1. What a great post, after this long, cold Winter we all could use some sunshine and flowers. I am so glad you have that flower to hold onto until the real ones come peeking out of their Winter slumber. HUGS

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am a long sufferer of bipolar and many other mental ailments. I have noticed that I seem happiest on cold, dark days. I think I’m wired that way. Of course, that makes total sense being that I live in sunny south Florida. What a beautiful post you a de here.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have a lot of constant conflict too. My brain never stops. Those brief moments of stillness and peace are fantastic. Reading this made me think that I need to work a little harder to find those moments instead of just waiting for one to find me.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “I went to sleep early and woke up at 3 am with a stillness and peace. Am I dead? Is this what it’s like to be happy?”

    That line made me turn off my music so I could focus more on your writing. I’m totally in love with this. Been doing a lot of my own soul searching lately through my blog, and I hope I have one of these moments soon. Right now I’m living in whatever the opposite is.
    http://terriblepokerface.com/2015/02/22/hope-can-be-devastating/

    P.S. Nice Garbage reference.
    P.P.S. LOL rereading all of this I need to say- Please don’t think I’m like scary obsessed with your blog. Just a normal, healthy amounts of obsessed. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s hard to define happy when you haven’t felt like yourself for so long (I had PPD a couple years ago and now get SAD in the fall/winter) but if you’re thinking you might be, you probably are. I love your winter flower. : )

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s very hard to be happy when you aren’t yourself. The winter is harder for me. I have a laundry list of issues. Thank you. I love my flower too. I have it on my dresser so I see it when I go to sleep and when I wake. Thanks for stopping by and take care. The flowers will be here soon 🙂

      Like

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