I’m very acquainted with the random things that life throws at us. Sometimes they hit you in the mouth and every once in a while you get hit in the feels. I admit, I can be sappy. I actually prefer it over acting like I don’t care. It makes my life easier. I’m a very conflicted person. I’m in constant turmoil. This is just the way I am. It’s not what I want but it’s just me. When I find a moment of stillness then it’s a blessing. Peace comes so little that I must hold on to it as long as I can. I went to sleep early and woke up at 3 am with a stillness and peace. Am I dead? Is this what it’s like to be happy?
Here I am pondering the idea of happiness at 5am. I am tired but my mind is on fire. I’m comfortable with this moment of peace. I do not want it to leave me. I know that the time will come and I will be left to me own devices. I can’t worry about that now. Right now all is well. Life is full of trickery and surprises. people cross our paths and our lives intertwine. Sometimes they disappear then come back and leave you full of questions. I can’t begin to understand why some things happen. Whenever I am so lost I can’t find a way back someone takes my hand to lead me from the darkness. It’s usually shocking when you see their face. It’s always someone you least expect. It’s not often I am comfortable with someone. The connection and chemistry are on point.
I sit here and stare and the flower drawn on my hand. I can’t say I’ve ever had anyone draw for me. It makes me smile. I needed to smile. It’s healthy. Yesterday was a good day. I love good days. The world outside couldn’t compete with the good times that were had yesterday inside my home. The things some people take for granted are the things I long for. No matter what happens yesterday can’t be taken from me. I don’t know what today holds but I’m ready for it. I’m going to smile a little wider. My laugh lines won’t stop me. I wear them like a badge of honor. This week has been the coldest of the winter. The snow and ice have been pretty but I long for warmth. I want sunshine and grass between my toes. It will be a while before the weather turns and the season changes. Today I was blessed by flowers in Winter.This flower won’t ever die.