Suck It Up Buttercup

Sunday nights are my loneliest nights of the week. It’s nobody’s fault but my own. This whole weekend was great. I enjoyed my time with my “friend”. I’ve accepted my spot in the friend zone for now. I know it’s foolish for me to think I’m going to get out of it. I can’t walk away. I find my mind wanders every Sunday. Tonight is no exception.

This weekend was full of laughs and shenanigans. He gets me out of the house. I need that more than anything. Friday night we did a little dig racing. I drove and won. We laughed at the guy because he was so pissed off that he lost to a chick. Then we went for dinner. This ended up as a funny photo shoot. I laughed so hard that night I couldn’t breathe. My face and stomach hurt because everything was so stinking funny. Laughing with him is the best.

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The next day felt a little different. We mostly drove around and talked. The conversation went from on extreme to the next. I felt I said what I needed to say. It was an enjoyable day. At one point he got out of the car and picked a buttercup for me. I’m sappy so of course this was huge to me. We ran around all day and by 9pm I was exhausted. I fell asleep on the couch.

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The next morning we were off again. This time the adventure included his kids. It was a really good day. I enjoyed the time we spent together and the weekend was great. It was a struggle when I headed home Sunday evening. It was silent at my house. I has lonely as soon as a walked through the door. I started writing but quit to sulk. I stayed up till around 3am with my thoughts. I’m still just as confused as I was when I started this. Suck it up buttercup. You aren’t done yet.

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