I have to admit my anxiety is at an all time high. I know it may not appear this way since I’ve got jokes. Humor and jokes have to get me through this month. It’s been a little over five months since I played the “cancer games” It’s time to start all over again. I am scared but I have to face it once again. I made up my mind that I would call today and schedule my mammogram and my cervical check. I chickened out. I have to just suck it up and get this party started. This sucks.
Having a mammogram sucks. It’s uncomfortable and painful at times. A complete stranger has to place these bad boys in some crazy positions. When you are large breasted then it’s harder to get these things to stay. My flipping neck and back were killing me by the time i was done with the contortion act. Maybe this time my Bi-rads score will be a 1 instead of 3. Then I could breathe easy and go back to my regularly scheduled program. Bet I get another Bi-rads 3. This will piss me off because a 3 is pretty much a big fat I don’t know. I will cut the stupid thing out myself this time if it’s a 3. A Bi-rads 4 will mean I’m really screwed without guessing.
I think I’m more pissed off that I must have the whole pap smear ordeal again. I’ve never had an abnormal pap until last year. I was less than thrilled when I had to have a biopsy the day after getting my crap mammogram results. I’m happy to say that the cervical biopsy was normal. It would be awesome if my pap and mammogram were clean. I’m not going to hold my breath. I don’t think my tata problem just disappeared. I’m not that lucky. Let me sleep on it and decide if I’m ready to schedule these events.