I’m so tired yet I’m wide awake. My mind is running 90 miles per minute. I want it to shut it. I don’t want to feel. I’m lost. I don’t want to be found just yet. I’ve been dealing with a nasty dental infection for about a month because I was stupid. I can’t get over the infection. It’s painful and I’m miserable. Tonight I feel so sad. I could name a hundred different reasons. I’m hurt too. I’m the cause of that. Somebody show me how to not care. I’m tired.
I envy people that don’t want or need anyone. I covet the life of someone that never wants any type of relationship in their life other than friendship. How the hell do they do it? I’m impressed by the level of not giving a damn these people exhibit. I’m weak and I suck at this. Am I ever going to say I’m done and mean it? Why do I continue to care about people that don’t care about me? That’s the $64,000 question.
Maybe I will go to sleep and all my questions will be answered. Maybe I just won’t care. Maybe zombies will eat my brain. Tune in later this week as I start the Biannual Cancer Games. May the odds be forever in my favor. Yeah right.